preschool teacher?

I always imagined preschool teachers to be honestly sweet women. not particularly smart or especially pretty. not especially full of talent or ambitions. I imagined them to be simple but genuinely good people. women who's biggest strengths were inexaustable patience and a good heart.

in other words... exactly the opposite of how I see myself. I'd like to think of myself as talented and occasionally clever. I do not consider myself especially patient or genuinely kind. nor would I say that I have a profound or even genuine love of children. I mean, sometimes some of them...

but here I am, continuing to check my email as many times a day as possible to see if i got this preschool job. the schedule is sweet. 8:30-1:30 M-F. the pay is 190,000 yen/m or $1,600 (I make around 280,000 now) but they don't care if I make up the difference in income with private students, which I think I could easily get. or I could just live a litte more frugally and relax. plus it's a really really kickass school with a huge play room and art projects for the munchins ect. so I'm impatient to see if i get it, we'll see.

and if I don't get it? I don't know. there are lots more jobs... but this whole process of searching and working is exhausting. it may be getting time to leave Japan if I don't get this job. not sure where I'd go, though.

i'll keep you posted.


in other news, I found a four leaf clover today.