if the ticking of the second hand deafens you
if the changing of the moon blinds you
if you loose track of where your path to your dreams is
you must do everything you can to find it,
even if it means stopping time.
it said something vaugely like that. except in Japanese, which the old man had to read for me.
so last week I got reminded that I have 3 weeks to decide if I'm renewing my contract with Ye Ol' Eikaiwa. this sent me into kind of a tailspin of doubt and feakedoutness about the future.
on monday I ended up in Hibiya park sitting in the sun, watching people watch the cherry blossoms, making a list of ways I'm going to make my life better, and wearing my narc hat.
for reasons not entirely clear to me, the Japanese find me really approachable. and after sitting on the bench for a few hours looking at the fountain (actually not the one in the picture, a less painful looking one) and pondering the future and an older man walks up and asks me to scoot over so that he can read the inscription on the bench.
he then proceeds, alternating between English and Japanese, to explain that all the benches represent donors. The donors can get a little plaque on each bench that says whatever they like. he read and explained the one I was sitting on. it sounded something similar to the quote above.
It seemed quite appropriate and I keep reparaphrasing it in my mind as I think about my future.
I'll write more about my future plans soon but it looks like it'll boil down to: I want to stay in Japan longer, but not with Ye Ol' Eikaiwa. obviously, I'll write more on this later.
2 comments:
If for some reason you don't end up staying, you're always welcome here. I love that poem in this post, and thanks for the comment on my lj. I do need to remember that everyone has a different path in life and be more confident in forging my own.
Hey Super Kid,
Wonderful poem. Yes, the ticking of the clock is deafening. But better than not hearing it, I suppose.
Wondering if you can get additional info on the "other" company before you bail the teach thing. Or Go ahead and sign up for the teach thing and if you need to, cut and run from that at semester break (or whatever they have there). There is no shame in up-grading your position, even if the weak are trampled. Particuarilly if the current situation is vampiring your life away. Then screw them. Be loyal only to those who are loyal to you.
I know you'll figgure it out, ya brainiac. And if all goes to hell, like Murry says, you can always come live with us till you go nuts, like in a week or two. Or hey, stay a year. See how many couch surfers you can get out in this sage brush plot. Fine envrionment for sociology experiments.
Have fresh checkered shirt types helping me build hovers. Things happening. making accelerated schedual for delivery and getting on with life. Have your downtown Tokoyo pic up on the screen. motivated to go nuts in a new part of the world.
Miss you so very much. Love you Kori, Your loving Dajii
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