let it rain, I've got jesus

I don't know who the statue is, but it could be jesus. could be the statue of some crazy guy who doesn't know that its pouring in Tokyo. could be both.

to compliment the minor exsitential crisis raging in my brain, I've been getting lost a lot. in the rain. on purpose. and even though I'm getting lost on purpose, I still find it comoforting and empowering to find my way home.

one of my discoveries yesterday was a skinny little park that follows a little random creek to the river. the park goes on for miles but isn't on any of my maps.



it's pretty when it rains. brings mixed emotions because it feels like home when it rains but I also kinda hate the rain... more than rain and wet shoes, I hate umbrellas. so i don't bring mine, whenever I can help it. just my narc hat. and I start walking. or jump a train and walk from there.

ended up in shinjuku park tonight. and I'm kinda suprised to be relieved to see Tokyo's army of homeless. there are surprisingly few but I stumbled apon a bread line of sorts in this park. maybe fifty people waited under umbrellas and trees as the skyscrapers of affluent shinjuku faded into the clouds above (shinjuku is known as one of the financial/shopping/entertainment district of the city. apts go for thousands a month here) . the dedraggled men left with plastic bags filled with some sort of food or supply. some looked very homeless, some just looked more normal but with an aire of desperation.

two official looking people in raincoats and with flashlights circled the park and I followed them, wishing I had found it earlier in the day (its dark by 5 here, when it rains). I followed their official coattails past a tent village made of bright blue tarps strung between trees. somehow, I always found it strange that I had only seen one or two homeless peole since I got here. it made me nervous not to see the side of the city that had to exist. I feel vaugely better knowing where to find the tent city.

so I got myself lost, found something new, and took the train home. I had dinner at a cheap resturaunt that is equivalent to japanese fast food. you buy a ticket in a machine with pictures of the food. you hand the ticket to someone and sit at a counter. they come back shortly with your hot food. yet another place where I don't need any Japanese. 500 yen for more curry and miso soup than I should eat in one sitting.

I returned happy to change into dry pajamas. I am struggling to make this a home and figure out what I want of my life here. but today was good. each day is getting better.