shock

I´m leaving the park on Aug 25th and heading to Buenos Aires before flying back to the states and then yeah.... good things will happen, but...

I´m already anticipating the horrible culture shock.

things that have become normal and I will miss
-having a tribe. a group that you eat every mediocre meal with, share chores with, drink to oblivion with, share dorms with. a group that has your back and visa versa. even if they do let you sleep with the pigs... but that´s another story.
-quiet. so much of the day spent listening to insects and birds and trying not to make a sound
-waking up with the dawn as it comes through the window just before wake up call.
-chaos everywhere. A spider monkey in the kitchen. the semi wild pigs in the dorms in the middle of the night. 5 new people who are wandering around lost. half a dozen languages and mistranlations. todlers running around covered in god knows what.
-making due. somehow, despite the food and hygene(sp?) and unstocked clinic, we make due.
-facing fear. working with Maggi is amazing, but at the same time everyday there is a moment where the bottom drops out of my stomach and I hold it there and don´t flinch despite some other part of my desperately wanting to run. there is something in that type of moment that I´ll miss. and also won´t.
- dirt. we are filthy. the chaos of all the animals contributes, naturally. and somehow, everyone here is still one of the most attractive groups of people I´ve every had the privilage. the grooming is irrelavant.
-nothing (er, very little) is wasted. the garbage system at first was daunting but it´s a complicated system so that all food left overs get eaten by someone or something. pigs. pios. parrots. the dog... it all filters down and what´s left goes to the compost.
- the body is tougher than I thought. people here get beat up and keep laughing. it´s fantastic.
- the stars and fireflies and having the time to just stare at them.
- time. ¨what time is it, Corinna?¨ asks my friend Rauiri. ´¨I don´t know. ¨ I answer. things happen when they do. some days are signinicantly longer or shorter than others. it goes. and it´s ok.

the rest of the world seems very far away and I can only imagine with dread the overwhelming panic a US supermarket or god forbid Walmart like store will rain down on me. or the traffic. or the streams of people who don´t give a damn. or just the waste of food. or the televisions and radios.

I can look a pissed off puma in the eyes and indulgently say. ¨no chica¨ but a grocery store with elevator music will probably bring me to tears. my life is weird.

the adventures continue.

much love to all of you. xx.