The last ten days of Japan were perhaps typical of any major life transition. A "to do" list a million miles long, not enough sleep, intense time with friends, tears, excitement, and a general sense of reality not quite catching up with the timeline of life.
I think I have never gone though a major transition in any other state than massively sleep deprived. It is first for practical reasons. When I wasn't working, I was packing, or studying for the Japanese test, or seeing/drinking with friends. There was a little sleep thrown in there but not as much as would have been ideal.
But then again, with more sleep the crystal clarity of what I was doing--leaving a life that has treated me well for something almost completely unknown--was a bit dulled and easier to deal with. Not to say that I'm not happy with my choices; I am very happy with my choices. But that doesn't mean they don't frighten me too.
I had banked on sleeping from 3pm Thursday Tokyo time to 7am Thursday Portland Oregon time (or about 9 hours) as I almost always sleep the whole flight without any problems. Instead I ended up having a great conversation about the meaning of life with a complete stranger. Or maybe not. We were both kinda sure we'd maybe met in a previous life.
"I can see it in your eyes," he says to me, "your on your path. And your ready, I can see you're on the top of your game."
8 hours later, I woke up in the middle of an epic 24 hour "nap" looked in the mirror and realized one of my eyes was almost completely swollen shut, oozing grossness, and completely red. Luckily, I don't think that's what the stranger was talking about. I sure hope not.
I'm now on day four, almost looking normal and still have this going through my mind:
Kori's Id: scratchy, itch it. Itchy, scratch it. eye ball eye ball eye ball....
Rational Kori: no. no. think of something else. shut up Id, I hate you. no. arg....
I'm feeling it though. I'm feeling like I'm on the right path. I sit in my brother's kitchen, snow on the ground, sun shining in, waiting for some hippies I met last night to swing back around and give me a lift to Eugene where my friends are waiting. I'm a bit concerned that the hippie boys are much longer than they said they'd be but if it doesn't pan out, I'll head down by bus tomorrow and that will be ok too.
One of the things this is about is gaining flexibility.
the adventures continue...
(and pictures will continue too when I get the machines talking to each other again...)